Breath
by STR8BKCHICK
Summary: *READ NEW CH. 6*No longer posting on this site, but if you want the new part to this story, its up at Ducks babble board:
1. I'm Dead

Disclaimer: Joss owns it all, not for profit, yadda yadda 

Summary: Buffy talks to Angel about him and Cordelia and he and she and she makes a decision. Wolfman and Hart capture her and she comes back, after a year.....but a little different!!!!! MUST READ!!!!!!! 

"Spoliers: Well, cordy and angel are an "item" , Conner is in the picture and I guess Spike and Buffy aren't an issue!!!!.....but we know B/A in prime here, dont we now?!?!?!?!?!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*Flashback* ~2002 

"You love her?" She asked, staring up at him from being folded in his arms and taking her head from his chest. 

"I love you." He said simply. 

"I can see it in your eyes, Angel. Those brown orbs that once held so much for me, once worshiped and adored me, have parts of her there now. What are we going to do?" 

"God, I don't know. After you, I never thought I could feel anything resembling what we had. But Cordy, she's been here for me when I was at my lowest. She loved me for me, when, I didn't love me. I love her, yes." He said staring off blankly. 

"Then I won't make you choose. I'm choosing for you." She said, stepping out of his embrace. 

"I don't know if I can let you go, Buffy." He whispered, brokenly. She smiled at him. 

"I love you, my angel. I always have, always will. What we have is... pure and untouchable and beautiful because it's complicated and rare and true. I won't make it cheap by looking into those eyes forever knowing that they're not for me. Not only for me. We will meet again, Angel. And it will be perfect. Pure. Your destiny, my destiny, is here." She finished, holding his hand to her chest, over her heart as she mimicked the same on his chest. She stepped to him and kissed him. In that one kiss, HE was left breathless. He felt as though she were breathing life back into him, as though his soul would be lost, had the clause not have been removed. She pulled away, trying to walk away form him as tears slid down her face. He reached and grabbed her. Crushed her to his chest. 

"No! NO! I choose you. I want you!" He moaned. She stepped away. 

"It's in your eyes, Angel. I love you." She said, before walking out of the door and out of his life, forever................until now.   
  


*Present Day* 2003 

"Conner, bring me my phone please!" Angel yelled up the stairs. 

"Coming, coming, here. Dang, I was coming." He said, handing the phone to his father. 

"Yea, but I would have gotten it next week, waiting on you. Thank you son." Angel, smiled, sarcastically. He started dialing the number he dialed every other day, around this time. 

"Hello, Giles, it's Angel. Any word yet?" He asked. Buffy had been missing for a year and no one had any idea where she was. The day she had made his decision, he had never seen her again. Willow, Xander and Dawn thought it was because of what happened between the two of them, during her visit. Only he and she knew how far it really got. They had made long, slow, passionate love that wrapped their desires and lust of love into a big bomb, that exploded plenty of times before they were finished. He knew that wasn't it. HE didn't tell them, but he told Giles that something else was up. Something else because Buffy would never have left Dawn. When she left him that day, she seemed so much more at ease with herself, so much more clearer with her future. 

"No nothing yet, you?" He asked, tiredly. 

"Shit, no. Okay, I'll call you in a couple days. Bye, and take care." He sighed, before hanging up.   
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Look, Gavin, she's not gonna agree to it. I say we ship her to Angel now and if it's not done, we do the spell to make her do it. Either way, we win. I'm a little tired of the torturing of her. She's old news now. So if she doesn't kill Conner in 30 days, the spell will make sure of it." Lilah sighed. 

"Okay, seal the box extra tight. I think it's time we send Angel a little present." He grinned. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Cordy walked into the office with pizzas. She, Conner and Angel would have dinner before and during looking at some cases and hopefully, heading up to bed. She plopped the boxes down and took a seat. 

"Angel, Conner, I've got pizza." She yelled through the hotel. They walked out, laughing as Angel kissed Cordy's lips and opened the box. They began chowing down when a chime was heard through the hotel. Four men, in suits walked through, pushing in what seemed to be a coffin. They stopped and stared. 

"A present, from Wolfman and Hart. Enjoy the homecoming!" One of them sneered before laughing and walking away. Once out of the door, they stood and abruptly made their way to the box. 

"It's sealed tight. It won't budge." Conner said. 

"I can't even smell what's in it but I have a feeling it's something bad." Angel whispered. After hours of trying, the lid budged. The carefully removed it before Angel gasped in horror. Buffy, lay there, unconscious and pale and bruised. *She's dead! Oh my God she's dead!* he thought.   
  


"Oh God, BUFFY!" He wailed, grabbing her lifeless body and pulling her from the box. He fell back in shock with her in his arms. Cordelia watched the act of love and her heart fell. She thought she had gotten him over her, apparently not. 

"God, baby, what did they do to you? Cordy, call Giles. Buffy, Buffy, baby, look at me, open your eyes." He begged, kissing her brow. She stirred slowly and she opened her eyes. 

"Angel?" She asked, shocked, yet scared. 

"Yes, Buffy, it's me, what happened to you? What did they do to you?" He asked and as if he had pulled a gun on her, she scurried out of his arms and onto the floor and away from him fast. She began shaking her head, back and forth, mumbling something incoherent. Cordelia walked back in and Buffy looked at her and then to Angel. 

"NO!" She bellowed. "You, you did this to me. For a year, they tortured, beat and RAPED me and all I could say was 'My Angel will find me and he will kill you for touching me!' My Angel. MY ANGEL!! I HATE YOU!!!!" She spat, crying. "They said, 'Buffy, we'll let you go, all you have to do is say okay. Just say okay and we'll let you go. Do you know how it feels to have some man inject you with muscle relaxer and then thrust into you, dry and screaming?" She asked staring at Cordelia. Tears slid down Cordy's face at her pain. "It hurts, and you bleed and you cry and no one hears you and no one cares because your nothing. And you want to die." Angel hadn't noticed it then, but the pain and hatred in her eyes was almost painful to stare at. Her once shining green eyes were now hollow and dull. 

"What changed? What did they want from you that you wouldn't give?" Angel asked, choking back sobs. 

"Oh, that. For me to take your sons life." She crooned. "For me to wrap my hands around his delicate throat and squeeze because I'm one of the only who can. I'm one of the only strong enough to do it." She smiled, as though she were daydreaming. 

"And you agreed?" Cordy asked. Buffy took steps close to Conner and reached for him. He took her hand and stepped to her. Then, she smiled, she hadn't smiled like her old self since the whole encounter. 

"I could never agree to hurt him." She whispered, smoothing his hair. 

"Let us help you." Angel pleaded through gritted teeth. 

"I'm already dead, already gone. I can't be saved. For what's coming next, save yourselves." She said before turning from them. "Oh, in 30 days, if Conner isn't dead by my hands, a spell will be performed, one that will make me kill him. Watch your son Angel. Watch Cordy too, while your at it." She kept walking to the door. "Together you are strong, apart you are dead....wait, wrong couple, ay Angel." And the door slammed behind her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Dad? The nightmares, I've been having, it was her. They were all her." Conner confessed, awe stricken. 

"What?" Angel and Cordelia asked in shock. 

"Every dream, every scream and all the torture was of her. I can feel it and it hurts, it hurts like hell." He gasped. "She did it for me, for you and you did nothing. You should have known that they were behind this. You were too busy playing daddy and perfect boyfriend to HER that you let her suffer!" He screamed with a face of utter pain. 

"No, you know that's not true!" Cordelia defended. 

"I'm...I'm so-sorry. I know that's not true but I can't help feeling her despair. Her heart, it's bleeding." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Ms. Summers, are you ready to explain to me what on earth did this to you?" The doctor asked, sitting in front of her. 

"I was kidnaped, raped repeatedly and tortured; this is the outcome. Nothing else to say doctor. Wasn't like I planned on having children one day anyway." He said plainly, hopping off the table and walking out of the door. She had to get home, to Dawny, before she had to do what had to be done to keep Conner safe. Memories flooded back to her memory in no certain order and she became dizzy. She had to grab a nearby brick wall to steady herself. When she opened her eyes, she was staring into deep brown chocolate orbs. 

"Conner? What are you doing here sweety?" She asked, taking a deep breath. 

"I want to help you get home, to your family and I think I need to talk to you about some things." 

"Okay, fair enough. Does Angel know where you are?" She asked. 

"He knows enough." He smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Some Hours Later 

"So you dreamed of me while I was gone? OF my torture? I'm sorry you had to be apart or that." She sighed. 

"There's more. You see, the Oracles, they've been showing me, what they really want. Why they really need you to kill me. You see, we, me and you, have a bond." 

"I know, but keep going." 

"If you kill me, I will be resurrected. Well, in body, but not spirit. If you kill me, it'll do the same to you. We'll become a force. An unstoppable team. Evil. The worst." 

"I know." She smiled. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you or the world for that matter. I know what I must do" 

" I know, but you can't do that." 

"I've done it twice before. Shouldn't be that hard." 

They pulled up to the Summers Residence and Buffy and Conner walked in. Willow, Dawn and Xander all stood and screamed and ran to Buffy. They couldn't believe it. Giles walked out of the kitchen at all of the ruckus and joined in on it. They all sat down and Buffy started to tell them everything, minus her solution to the problem. She noted how close Dawn and Conner seemed but ignored it. They reminded her so much of she and....no need to bring up old feelings. She went up to her room after the talk and shut the door. She needed a long shower. One to wipe the grit of those men and their weapons off of her. She stepped into the shower and cried. Her cries were muffled by the sound of the shower and the pain was not calmed. She felt dead. Worser than when she had come back from the grave. Her spirit was broken and her heart was shattered. She lowered herself to the tub and sat there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Morning came and she still sat there. Cold and wet, water streaming down her pale skin, but she sat there. She was in a trance. One of blankness and horror. The curtain was thrown back and Angel stood above her, near tears. 

"Buffy? What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?" He bent and scooped her necked flesh into his arms and removed her from the water. Her skin was wrinkled and mushy and he grabbed a towel to dry her. 

"I can't have kids." She whispered. "I'm dead, I'm dead. This has to be hell. I'm dead!" She sobbed, moving out of his lap and onto the floor in the corner. She brought her head to her knees and rocked, like she had when she came from her own casket, again. 

"When you disappeared, I wanted to disappear with you. I thought my soul had committed suicide because you would rather be lost to your loved ones, than be with me. Soon, I knew it was something else. You would never stay away this long. Not if you weren't forced to. Not if some one wasn't keeping you from me. I looked for you everyday. Every night. I dreamed of you. I pleaded with the higher powers to bring you to me, for you to be okay. But they failed you. They failed me. You hate me and all I did was love you and try to find you. Damnit, I tried, so hard, but I couldn't sense you, couldn't feel you, but I loved you so I knew you were out there, somewhere. SOME WHERE!!! God, I wanted you, I still want you. I crave you. And you hate me." He smiled, dejectedly. 

"I'm so cold, Angel. I feel so....cold. The cuts, the knives, the words. The gratification. They promised me everything. They threatened me with more. Every life I ever loved, every soul I ever cherished would be destroyed if I didn't give in. I said no! I said no because I loved you. I said no because I could never hurt the innocent part of you, the part of you I sent to hell. I couldn't even scream anymore. I couldn't cry. All I could do was lay there, or stand there, while they mutilated me. That's why they threw me into the box. They thought by reenacting my rebirth, that it would drive me insane. That it would make me bow to them. I was at peace in my tomb. I was alone and warm and I thought. I thought about my life. I can never live again. Not after this. Not after all the other things I've been through." 

"You can, let me help you. Let me save you now." He sobbed, sinking to the floor. 

"Oh my angel, Buffy is gone. At least the Buffy you know. She's never coming back." She drawled. 

"Look in my eyes! What's there now? Huh? What's in my eyes, Buffy? Who's in my eyes?" 

"I won't. It will kill me to really know that it has been taken away from me...again. Go back to Cordy, Angel. Get Conner and go back to LA and hope you never see my face again." She whispered. 

"I don't want Cordy. I want Buffy. I want you. Forever, remember, that's the whole point." He sighed. 

If I see you when the change happens, I'll kill you. But it will kill YOU to see what becomes of me to stop it." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

That night, she was plagued with nightmares. She tossed and turned and Angel stood in the shadows and watched her. She looked to be in so much pain, her hair stuck to her face in sweat and her body heaving around the bed as though she were fighting. She saw it. She saw it all. The chains. The bats. The drugs, the bile, the feces. The fire. Thank the heavens for slayer healing. The worst were the lawyers and the men who worked for them. 

"Pretty piece of tight ass. See if we can loosen that up, along with your will power." 

"How about a friendly fuck slayer? 

"STOP! PLEASE!" 

"Stop, your hurting me! Oww, please, it hurts, so bad. I won't...let you hurt him. I won't hurt him. Don't touch me! He'll kill you for touching me!" 

"ANGEL!" she screamed as she woke. Angel sat on her window seal as she jerked awake and panted for air. 

"Your right, I will kill them. Every last fucking person in the building." He snarled. 

"Angel," she breathed, "Can you hold me, till I fall asleep?" She cried. 

He heard her. His Buffy. The one he loved, the one who loved him. He knew in the morning that it wouldn't be remembered. That she would be cold and hard. But he needed to feel her, to hold her, to shield the badness and the hurt away. It was his job. He was her soul mate.   
  


Buffy woke hours later, pressed against Angel's marbled chest and moved away. She had to get away from him before feelings surfaced and she was unable to do the necessary act to ensure Conner's safety, and the worlds. She scooted out of his embrace and padded down the hall and stairs and into the kitchen. Conner sat on the couch, in the dark, pretending to sleep, but Buffy knew he wasn't. She made cocoa and sat next to him and handed him one of the twin mugs. 

"Couldn't sleep either" she smiled. 

"You know me too well." He sighed. "Why do you know me so well? Why do we know each other so well?" 

"That, Conner, is something I don't know." She sat for a moment and then it hit her. *Duh, why hadn't she figured it out earlier* "We share blood." she whispered. 

Conner's head whipped up from the steaming liquid and he stared at her. 

"What do you mean we share blood?" He asked, dumbly. 

"When I was 18, Angel was poisoned. The only cure was Slayers blood. To make a long story short, he fed off me, because I made him, and now my blood runs in his veins. God, I can't believe I never thought about it." 

*Love isn't brains children. It's blood. Blood screaming at you to work its will.* 

"So my father fed from you? You think the connection is from our blood?" He asked. 

"Well, I can't be sure, but, that would seem logical, I guess." 

"Buffy, you ever feel like running away? Like life is too much and it's smothering you and you can't breath? Like you don't belong?" He asked, in a low voice. 

"Everyday since I came back from the dead. You know, Angel was the only place that ever felt like home to me. He shined my way when I was lost. He kissed and held me when I was scared and hurt. If I think back, I started feeling the way you described when he left. He stopped being there. Stopped shining the path, wiping the tears so my path got dark, my eyes got blurry. I don't blame him for my problems. For my....situations. I resent his absence. But yes, I feel the way you feel now. I live it, I breath it. It is me." 

"When I got back from the dimension, I was so confused and scared and angry. I didn't have anyone. Not even my father. Our relationship is better now, and it will get better, I hope. But you, my connection with you is deep, soothing, it's like I've known you forever. Like I can tell you anything and you'll still love me. Like you'll always be here for me. Almost motherly." He finished. Buffy sighed as tears rolled down her eyes. The conversation ended and in the shadows, Angel crept back upstairs. 


	2. The Box

Long awaited update!!! I have writers block so peeps, send me helpful feedback of what you want to see happen!!!!!!! IDEAS is the key word here!!! IDEAS!!!!!!!!!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

That night, dreams filled her senses once more. This time, they were weird. Flashes of images she had never seen flashed through her dreams. Kissing Angel in the sun light, being shoved against a refrigerator, making love on a kitchen table, licking ice cream off of his chest, Angel depressed, Angel seeing the scrolls, Spike torturing Angel, Angel sleeping with Darla, Darla being pregnant, Darla giving birth and then her abduction. She woke silently with her mouth agape and a silent scream sounding everywhere inside of her and nowhere inside the room. She was going crazy. She felt like crawling out of her skin and dying. She threw the covers back on the bed and stood. Like a zombie, she pulled some jeans on and a sweater and grabbed a stake. At the last minute, she threw the stake to the floor and walked empty handed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The night air was welcoming. It was cold and dead, like her heart, and she wanted it to swallow her whole. She didn't want to be in the same house as Angel. She didn't want to share the same air as Connor, knowing what was to come. She didn't want to look into the eyes of her beloved sister and know what was to become of her once again. She quickly went into battle with many vampires and didn't even notice that they were all being murdered in a way of an experts method. Her mind was so gone that she need not focus on any battle at hand. It just happened. Perhaps it was a slayers true way. Perhaps, she was always supposed to be this emotionless and this robotic. It felt raw. It was good to feel though. Lost in her thought she never heard the vamp sneak up behind her. Angel, who had been following her all night, ran out of the shadows and was about to strike the intruder when she spun on her heel and put her fist through the vamps hest, pulling its dead heart out. It look at her, wide eyed and exploded into dust. Angel stared at her, flabbergasted and motionless. 

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, dusting herself off and staring at him. 

"Following you. What in the hell was that?" He asked. 

"What was what?" She asked. 

"What you just did?" He asked. 

"Oh that, is what will happen to you if you follow me again." She spat turning on her heel and then grabbed her head. Angel stood there, shocked by her words as she attempted to stock away. She turned, holding her head, and sighed. 

"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just that, all these things are in my head right now and I can't think straight." She said. He just nodded and let her stand there. 

"I was there, tonight, when you and Connor were talking." He began. "I know you may not feel for me, at all, but you have a connection with him and that has to mean something, Buffy. There is some part of you in there that's worth saving and I want to try. You're not who you think you are. You are not the person you're making yourself become. You are not dead and you're not dark and you are worth something. You're worth my life and I know something is missing here. Some things not quite right and I want to find out what it is." He said. 

"Well, good luck looking, but if I were you, I'd start with myself, because that's where it all started downhill." She said sadly. 

"What do you mean?" He asked. 

"Angel, God, didn't you ever feel it? When we broke up, didn't you ever feel a piece of yourself dying everyday and so slowly that it was the worst torture in the world. I've been dying since you left. Now, after everything I've been through, how can you expect me to be the same? How can you expect me to have the same feelings as I once had. Every since the first day I met you, I've been doomed to one day die." 

"Don't say that!" He growled. 

"Every since we first kissed I was doomed to fall in love and every since I was in love, I was destined to pay for it. So, here we are and we have to deal with the price." She said, emotionless. "I just want to crawl away and die, Angel I want to crawl into a little hole and die and I want you to feel it. I want you to wish I weren't dead, because I wish I could wish I wasn't dead. I don't want to be dead inside. I don't want to be partial and I don't want to see darkness every where, but I can't help it. It's all I know now. It's all I am, all I'll ever be." 

"Never! I won't except that!" He roared. 

"Oh Angel, the quicker you except my fate, the quicker you will except yours." She smiled. 

"And what is my fate?" 

"Now if I told you what I knew, it wouldn't be your fate anymore, now would it?" She asked, cryptically. 

"No, I guess not. Promise me!" He said. 

"What?" 

"Promise me you'll try. Promise me you'll try to not be dead." 

"I try every time I take a breath, Angel." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Lilah, the chip we put tn, is it working?" One of the senior partners asked from their position at the head of the conference table. 

:Yes, everything seems to be going smoothly. The slayer is void of all emotion and she is progressing nicely. The only problem I see is the connections he has with Connor." 

"Why is this? She is supposed to be connecting with him." 

"Yes, well, instead of the power magnet, we're getting more of a mommy magnet. It seems that the slayer is developing a sort of motherly love for the boy. It can backfire. I hoping against it." 

"Anything we can do to fix this?" 

"Not a one. Unless we want to kidnap her again, torture her, reprogram the chip and have our little party again." She smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. I'm With You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Here's the new part!!!! I promise it was well worth the wait because juicy stuff happens!!!! Anywayz, enjoy and feedback....because its mandatory!!!!!! 

******Oh and the song is by Avril L......(don't know how to spell it!!!!!!) And called "I'm with You!!!! I know, not normally my kind of music, but she's the baddest, so here it is!!!! I love AVRIL!!!!! Besides, doesn't she seem as though she'd play the perfect DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I was selective with the lyrics, so note that not all parts of the song are in the fic!!!! Sorry, I had to make it fit!!!!!!!!!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Lilah got up from her confines with Wesley. She walked to the outer room and picked up the phone. 

"Hello, Donavan? Take a message to the boss. Tell him to increase Ms. Summers' programming to the next stage....Yes, I know its dangerous, but we're running out of time and I want to see Angel crawl. Okay, thanks. I'll be in touch." And she hung up. In the shadows, Wesley tip-toed back to his place in bed and faked sleep, terrified of the implications of the call. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"How long have they been gone?" Dawn asked, sitting next to Willow. 

"Couple of hours. Angel followed her though. She should be fine." She smiled. 

"I hope she gets back to her old self soon. I really miss my sister." 

"Hey, we all do." Xander offered. The door opened and slammed as a dark figure stormed through the doors. And into the living area. 

"Where is Buffy, Angel?" Xander asked. 

"Still out. She pretty much ditched me. Where's Connor?" He asked. 

"Right here. Anything new?" He asked. 

"No, not really, but.."   
  


"Sorry to interrupt, but Angel, there is a call for you. Wesley. He sounds urgent." Giles offered. Angel silenced and went to the phone. 

"What?" He asked. 

"I have some information. I've been gathering helpful information for the past couple of weeks and I'm afraid we have a problem. A chip has been planted in Buffy's head and I don't quite know the extent of the chip, but its become dangerous most recently. Lilah has made a call, progressing her into the next stage, whatever that is. Is she there with you currently?" He asked. 

"No. Damnit!" he cursed. 

"Well, find her. I don't think I need to tell you the danger in this. You need to find her before...hello?...hello?..." Angel had hung up. 

"Willow, Giles? I need a locator spell. I'm leaving to find her now and call me on my cell if you find anything or she comes back." And he ran from the house before anyone could question him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

She stood on a cliff, looking down at the waves crashing into the rocks below. 

I'm standing on a bridge 

I'm waiting in the dark 

She didn't know what had possessed her to come here, but she knew why. She knew he was coming. 

I thought that you'd be here, 

By now. 

She couldn't explain the feeling pulsing through her body. She knew it was wrong. For some reason, that made it all the more exhilarating. 

Isn't anyone trying to find me? 

Won't somebody please take me home? 

And then, he was there. 

It's a damn cold night 

Trying to figure out this life 

She heard him call her name and she began to cry. He took a step forward and she turned. She smiled at him and he read her eyes. He whispered a painful, "no". 

Won't you, take me by the hand 

Show me somewhere new 

She took this as her opportunity to break and turned toward the cliff and ran. With preternatural speed, he followed, bellowing at the top of his lungs in an inhumane roar for her to not jump. She swan dove over the ledge and heard his voice screaming, pleading no and it was beautiful. She felt his arms wrap around her body as she plunged into darkness and it was almost as though they were ballet dancers and lovers. They were falling in slow motion. 

I don't know who you are, but I'm 

I'm with you 

He wrapped his body around hers, knowing that the fall wouldn't kill him as they fell into oblivion, shielding her human and fragile body from harm. 

I'm with you........... 

They hit a rock and Angel's arms became slack around her, allowing her head to smack against the rock with the impact. The chip in her head shorted and she looked at the crushed body of her lover and roared into the heavens. 

Why is everything so confusing? 

"Angel?" She began to sob. Her head hurt and she felt as though she had been released form a movie she had been trapped in. 

"Angel, baby, wake up. You're going to be okay. Just open yours eyes. Please." she started to cry harder. "Please, I'm sorry." She threw her body over his and held him tightly, repeating to herself "please, please, please." 

"You promised me. You promised you'd help me and that you'd take care of me. Remember?" she cried, growing desperate and peppering kisses as a way to hold on tighter. Time grew old and she lost track of the time spent holding him and knew that soon, the sun would be up. Slowly, his eyes opened. 

"Buffy?" He groaned. 

"Angel! You're okay? Oh, God, I thought I lost you." She cried, holding him and kissing him lightly, once more. He couldn't help but smile. 

"Does this mean the old Buffy is back?" He teased. 

"For now, but there is a lot you must know. But, I'm sorry, for a lot of things that are happening and that will happen." She apologized. 

"I'm sorry too. Lets go somewhere a little covered. I can smell the sun rise." He suggested. 

"I know. There's a cave over there. Here, let me help you up." She offered, and he help onto her and her to him, for support as they staggered to safety. 


	4. I Do Remember You Part 2

Well, I fudged up on the last update and forgot to give you this part so here it is. I don't know what was up with all the characters I uised turing us as "A's" and "@" but I hope it doesn't this time!!!!!! This is the juicy part!!!!!!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Night fell and Angel strolled into the Summers residence. 

"Giles!!!!" He called. "I need you to read me the prophecy of Destruido." 

"Yes, yes Angel, you will need to give me just a few seconds, please." Giles said walking into the room, thumbing through one of his old musty books. Angel removed his duster roughly and paced the floor, waiting for Giles to find it. 

"Ah, here it is." He began. 

"When she has risen, her heart will know, the secrets kept and the pain will grow. 

Two hearts of dark created one light, one the carrier of the night. 

The blood shared flow and harnessed in the dark 

She rose and on her back she carries a mark. 

The connection shared is more than heart. 

The demon who carried has not that mark. 

The secret kept tells of the one. 

What was dark is light with light and created a son. 

The blood was shared and the day has come, 

the final breath of the chosen one. 

The power to change lies in the dark, 

the father shall promptly play his part. 

For When he took the blood of the mother 

creates for the son, a little brother. 

If the prophecy shall come to pass, 

the world of light will see it's last." 

Giles finished as he took his glasses off and stared at Angel who had stopped pacing and was now staring with a horrified gaze. 

"Do you know what this means?" Giles asked. 

Angel merely nodded his head. 

"Care to explain, because so far, all I know is this is about the slayer and her son. Seeing as how Buffy and Faith have no sons, this sounds very wrong." Giles admitted. 

"No!" Angel almost growled. "This can not be." He almost yelled and then Giles knew there was something that he needed Angel to tell him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Hey Connor, you think we'll figure all this out soon?" Dawn asked as she, Connor, Xander and Willow patrolled through a cemetary. 

"I hope so. Your sister is very interesting to me. I only hope I will get to know her better when this is all over." Connor smiled. 

"You kids see anything?" Xander asked. 

"Nope, not yet. You Willow?" Dawn asked. 

"Not a single thing." 

All of a sudden, three vamps charged from he bushes all attacking Connor. He fought through them easily, punching and kicking and staking but by the time it was all over, he was glowing a mysterious green color. Looking down, his eyes grew wide as did the rest of the group. 

"What is going on here? What did you do Wils?" Xander asked. 

"I didn't do anything. I swear. No magic, promise." She said shocked. 

"Hey, he kinda looks the way I did when I was the key three years ago." Dawn said to no one in particular. They all turned to look at her. 

"What? What I say?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"What aren't you telling me, Angel?" Giles asked. 

"Four years ago, Buffy came to LA during Thanksgiving. You remember?" 

"Yes. She was there for a few hours to see her father." 

"She was actually there longer." He said pacing slightly. 

"What do you mean, I remember. She came home right after..." 

"There was a day, one that I had erased and it happened only she doesn't remember, or, she didn't remember until now that is. I was turned human and we got back together. It was the best day of my entire existence. She was so happy and we were so in love that day, all days. Anyway, I had to have the erased because I was no help to her and the oracles said that if I stayed human, she would die." He finished, giving the watcher the short version of the story. Giles stared at him in awe. 

"I can't believe this. So what does this mean in relation to what I just read? What are you trying to tell me Angel?" 

"I...I think Connor is Buffy's, not Darla's." He said. Before Giles could counter his thoughts, the patrolling gang burst through the door. They looked frantic. 

"What what is it? What's going on?" Angel asked panicked. 

"We don't quite know either. We were out patrolling and when Connor fought, he started to glow this green color." Willow explained. 

"Yea, well, and you know how the monks make me out of Buffy because I was the key, right Giles? Well, I glowed the exact same green. Do you think Connor could be the next key or another key to a different place?" Dawn questioned. 

"I really don't know. I will have to hear the entire story as you guys tell it back to me to be sure that my suspicions are correct." He said. "It's quite late, you all better get to bed. We will discuss in the morning. You'll let me know if there is anymore glowing then Connor?" 

"No problem. See Ya." He said before they all marched up the stairs to sleep. 

"So you do have a theory about what they said happened tonight?" Angel asked from his seat on the couch. 

"Yes, I would say that this confirms your hypothesis as well. I think Connor may well be Buffy's. I just don't know how I'm going to explain it logically." Angel nodded and sat on the couch as Giles, too, filed up the stairs in hopes of sleep. Angel sat patiently and prayed that Buffy would make it home that night. 

She never did. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

On the streets of Sunnydale, a slayer roamed freely. Her thoughts jumbled and her mission clouded. She was a bad person. She believed this much but the constant ache inside was growing more powerful by the minute. It hummed along her skin and shook her bones. She felt as though she was crawling out of her own skin. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself and squeezed as tight as possible. Trying to dull the ache she walked faster and tried tokeep her mind to other things. Angel had kissed her. He would pay for that. They would all pay. Everyone except Connor. Finally, she came to an empty cave and had no clue wh she stood there. 

"I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?" A voice startled her from her thoughts. 

"I'm here now. What must I do to make him pay. Make them all pay?" Buffy asked. 

"Oh we will make sure they all pay. Don't even worry. Because of our little boo boo jumping off cliffs, we've given them a bit of a clue. Not to worry. They are slow, dumb and deaf. It'll be too late anyway." Cordelia said, staring into the somber green eyes of the key to ending the side of good. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	5. I Do Remember You

New Chapter: This one takes some elements from the newest Angel ep and also, if you saw it, Connor fought and had like a yellow/green energy in him.  See where I take it!!!!!!  Enjoy and review!!!

~~~~~~~~~

AOkay, here are the things you need to know.@  She began as they sat against a wall , holding each other, His hands were in her scalp as her head lay on his chest, t he both of them trying to remain calm in their surroundings. 

AConnor as you know is the Destroyer.  He wasn=t only that in the hell dimension that raised him.  HE is that hero.  As a matter of fact, he was meant to be the Destroyer in this dimension.  It is true that he is the son of two vampires, you and Darla, but he shares my blood as well.  The night before my graduation, when you....fed...from me, my blood mixed with your blood and you will forever have slayer blood running through you, because...@

AI marked you.@  He finished.

ACorrect.  Now, this means that Connor too, has my blood and this is why we are conected.  When Darla died, as foreseen, the maternal link was severed as well as the blood link.  She was what you would call, a vessel to carry Connor to term.  When we get back, tell Giles to read you the prophecy of Destruido or the destroyed.  That should explain everything.  Wolfman and Hart never contemplated the real me surfacing so, I=ll tell you what to do.@

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lilah sat at her desk as Donovan walked in, laughing hysterically.

What the hell are you laughing at?@  She asked annoyed.

AYou won=t believe what happened.@  He began.  AYour plan, what you did, was....@  And he broke out into hysterics.

ATell me!@  She demanded.

AYour project, the slayer, swan dove off a....cliff.@  He laughed once more.

AShe WHAT!?@ Lilah yelled.

AWait, there=s more.  Seems our Angel here jumped after her and saved her.@  He said more calmly. 

AAnd?@

ANo Aand@, sweetheart.  Nobody has seen them since.@  He finished.

  


AShit!!!  Move out of the way while I get the frequency from her chip.@  She sighed, hurrying to her computer.  She typed in a few buttons and her screen reported nothing.

AWhat in the hell is this?@  She almost yelled.

AThat my dear, means her chip isn=t working and if I were you, I=d head for the hills.@  Wesley said, stepping into her office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

AOkay, are we clear on your actions?@  She asked him.

AYes, but I can=t believe they are doing this to you, to us all.@  He sighed, holding back a growl.  AWhat do we do now?  What do I do with this information?@

AYo will know, when it=s...@  She broke off and scurried out of his lap.

ABuffy, what=s wrong?@  He asked.

AHow did we get here?  What are you doing?@  The chip was settling back in.  AAngel, come here, we don=t have much time.@  And he went to her.

AI can=t depend on my actions, or my right mind to protect all those around me, so I need you to be strong.  I need you take care of everything and comfort them because they love and miss me too.  They aren=t to know or plan.  I don=t want them worried.  Just make sure Giles, Dawn, everyone...they=re okay.@  She almost cried.  He nodded his head before she sniffed and brought her lips to be his tenderly, gently.

AI love you Angel.  I will always love you.  Until I die and after, forever.@  She murmured as the kiss deepened.

AI love you too, forever, that=s the whole point.@  He murmured back and then she froze.

ADon=t ever touch me.  Don=t you dare!@  She almost screamed.

ABuffy?  Wait, I=m sorry.@  He pleaded almost shocked.

ADon=t you ever touch me.  They all touched me and it hurt.  You hurt me.  She said, rocking back and forth with her head tucked to her knees.  Angel exhaled and pointed his head to the sky and sighed, praying for strength.

AI know, Buffy.  Are you okay?@

AI have to go.@  She murmured, scurrying from the cave and out into the sun light, where he could not follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


AAhh, there it goes.  So nice of you to stop by.  How long have you known my dirty little secret?@  Lilah asked, peering from her computer and to Wesley. 

ALong enough.  So tell me, how do I stop it?@  He asked, knowing she would never tell.

AFor me to know, you to never know.  Your constant snooping is annoying me.  I could find another fuck-buddy you know.@  She sighed.

ANo I don=t know, because your addicted to what=s in my pants like I=m addicted to what=s between your thighs.  Never mistake it Lilah.  You have NO power over me.@  He bit out, shutting her door.

AOn the contrary, my dear.  I have the life of the world, the vampire and the slayer in my hands.  I think I have just a smidge of power.@ She smiled.

AOn the contrary, my dear.  As we speak, I have a plan of my own working.  Don=t under estimate me.  The answer is, will you be caught in my plan, or would you like to, take cover...with me, instead?@  He asked, raising an eyebrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night fell and Angel strolled into the Summers residence.

AGiles!!!!@  He called.  AI need you to read me the prophecy of Destruido.@


	6. a nOTE

Guys, im not writing on this board anymore. If you want the new chap of Breath, its up at Ducks Babble Board. The addy is: 

for Romance and 

for Breath   
  


Also, I started a new fic called Romance in the Islands, in case anyone is interested and hey, its pretty good, just slightly unfinished. Fortunately, I know where its going, as well as Breath so hopefully I won't be tooooooo much longer. Anyway, I write under the pen name: LadyPhantom7   
  


FEEDBACK GUYS!!!!!!! 


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